[Struck by an idea, Claude rearranges himself to lie on the camp bed, lifting up the covers so Byleth can join him. It's not the most comfortable bed in the world, and it'll be even more cramped with the two of them, but right now he doesn't mind any of that at all.]
[At first Byleth didn't quite understand, still seated on the edge of the bed with his head tilted like a curious puppy. But then it clicked, and his interest rose dramatically. So, not only could a heartbeat be felt, it could be heard too...?]
Very well. Thank you for indulging my curiosity.
[Sharing a bed like this didn't really register as anything strange to him, either. He had cosied up with Jeralt on more than a few occasions when they'd been in Faerghas during their bitter winters, and Byleth's main apprehension was letting a stranger be in close proximity to him. So, he slipped under the covers with Claude without hesitation.
It was cramped - more than, actually - with Byleth forced to lie on his side unless he wanted an arm and leg dangling off the edge. Despite his overwhelming curiosity, he didn't go straight for listening to Claude's heartbeat: he propped himself up on an elbow and very lightly rested his hand on the left side of Claude's chest-
-and lifted it up in surprise when he felt how strong the beat was.]
Oh. [he lowered his hand again, this time not flinching back at feeling the steady, strong beat.] That feels strange... two beats? It's not one single beat like a pulse is.
[Despite trying to play all of this cool, Claude's distracted by Byleth touching his chest, his surprised body language, the way he's so taken aback by something so mundane. Suddenly becoming aware of the feelings of fondness rising up in his chest, Claude can feel his cheeks flush, but hopefully Byleth can't feel emotions as well as a heartbeat through his ribcage. He can't, however, disguise how his tone is a notch gentler when he replies.]
Yeah, it's a bit different, though I can't say I've thought about it as much as you have.
[Or at least, not since he was still a child and learning about the world.]
[Byleth doesn't notice Claude's blush - his gaze is fixed on his hand splayed over Claude's chest, seemingly fascinated with the heartbeat he could feel against his palm.]
I've always been curious, but I could never ask Jeralt about these things.
[Jeralt loved him, Byleth knew that. He was Jeralt's entire world. But his lack of heartbeat, his difficulty in emoting... it troubled his father as well. So, Byleth never brought it up, he never asked Jeralt questions like "what does it feel like to have a heartbeat?" or "can I feel it?", but he could never ask anyone else either... until now, that is.]
And people place a lot of importance on hearts. There're idioms and metaphors and... poems and stories that surround them. It's fundamental to being a person, and I'll admit, for the longest time, it made me wonder if I could even be considered human, or even alive, because I lacked it. Of course, I know now that my heart is simply... different, not absent.
[A part of him was a little angry that Jeralt had kept it secret from him for so long but... Byleth didn't know how to process that so he just buried it, like he did with all the difficult emotions.]
Yeah. Being different doesn't make you any less than anyone else. And it doesn't mean you feel anything less, even if you don't express it.
[But knowing how to read subtler cues in his demeanour, his words, expressions... Claude feels like he understands him well with very little needing to be said. He rests a hand over Byleth's, where it's still splayed over his heartbeat.]
As for me, I have a regular heart just like most anyone else, but people still find plenty of reason to treat me differently. So, don't put too much stock in other peoples' assumptions of how things should be.
[Claude's expression softens, and he shakes his head slightly from where he looks up at him, offering one of his rare, authentic smiles.] It's not presumptuous. Actually, I feel the same. But you know... The fact that we're from two different worlds where we knew each other, and managed to meet here together in a third... Doesn't that feel like it might be fate?
I mean, even if we might regret not knowing each other sooner... getting to meet like this is something of a miracle, too.
A miracle... yes, when you think of the odds of this happening, it is something like a miracle.
[But it made Byleth wonder where he'd stand once he returned to his own world. The Claude there was the leader of the Leicester Alliance, and likely had no idea Byleth even existed beyond his reputation and name. If Byleth sought him out... this type of relationship they had here was unlikely. Byleth would only ever be a hired mercenary.
...
Was this how Claude felt when encountering him here? Seeing a familiar face stare at him as if he was a stranger? Hm...]
In a way, it makes me almost sad to think of our eventual parting. The Claude in my world doesn't even know I exist, beyond being just a mercenary employed by King Dimitri.
Then, why not take up a new contract with the other me, once your obligations to Dimitri are done with? I bet the other me would never say no to having the Ashen Demon onside. Then you can get to know him, just like you've gotten to know me, little by little.
[Assuming the other Claude isn't some radically different person, he can imagine he'd take to Byleth for just the same reasons.]
Besides, I don't think I would ever think of anyone in my employ as just a mercenary. I like to familiarise myself with the people I work with.
Yes, from what little I saw of the other Claude, he was very casual with his subordinates.
[...]
I'll think on it. For now, my employer is King Dimitri, but Jeralt expressed a desire to sever our ties with the Kingdom after our contract was concluded. The Church and Faerghus are still too closely aligned for his comfort... also, I get the impression he has less than fond feelings towards his homeland...
[Ah, but that was veering into topics Byleth wanted to avoid: Jeralt talk. Besides, there was no point discussing what ifs about his future back in his world right now. They weren't going home for a long while yet, regrettably.]
But I digress. May I listen to your heart? I'm curious to hear its sound.
[Claude almost wants to offer for him to come to his world, but it's a lot ot ask, besides just being selfish. And there would be the question of whether he could take Jeralt with him, if it were possible at all...
He quickly discards the thought as irrational, as a distracted impulse given the intimacy of this moment. Byleth has his own life to lead when all is said and done here, and Claude had done more than enough dragging the other Byleth of his own timeline around according to his own whims. Maybe he can just be someone who's here for him now, temporarily, as he was when he was just a masked stranger at a ball.]
Yeah, of course. [Claude lifts his hand out of the way, and holds still so Byleth can listen.]
[Byleth got the impression Claude wanted to say more, but let the moment pass by without comment. Instead, he shifted a little lower down the cot bed so his head was level with Claude's chest, and slowly eased himself down.
It was initially a bit awkward. The cot bed was tiny, and Byleth ended up half on top of Claude, his legs bent so his feet weren't sticking out from under the covers at the end, which sort of... required him to have his leg thrown over Claude's so he wasn't kneeing him awkwardly in the side of his thigh or knee. Not that Byleth minded the closeness - Claude was a trusted ally and friend, and they both knew how cramped these beds were from the start.
Besides, he was quickly distracted from their cosy position the moment he rested his cheek on Claude's chest: he could hear his heart, a sort of lub-dub noise - there were two beats, but not quite. It was as if the first beat was swiftly echoed, like the heart worked in tandem in something. It squeezed and, squeezed again, maybe?]
It's so loud... how do you not feel this all the time?
[It sounded like it should be thrumming through Claude's very ribcage!]
[It's probably just as well they're in such close proximity, if only so Byleth can't see how much Claude is blushing by this point. But as Byleth shifts on the bed, Claude winds up putting a hand on his back, just in case -- given how narrow the bed actually is -- he slips and falls off, Claude can try to catch him in time.
Fortunately, that doesn't happen, so he just holds still, hoping it isn't too obvious that his heartbeat quickens a little when Byleth presses his cheek to his skin.]
Well, I do feel it sometimes. After a battle or a tough training session, something like that. Most of the time it's just something I don't notice, though, like breathing.
[Byleth rested his hand on Claude's chest as well, and idly tapped his finger in time to his heartbeat. The pace was... a little faster than he thought it'd be. Wow, he expected it to be faster than his pulse, just from a passing comment from Jeralt, but he didn't realise it was this fast.]
I see.
[Byleth's rhythmic tapping slowed, and he closed his eyes. It felt and sounded strange, this heart, but a part of him found it soothing. He couldn't explain it. It was as if some primal instinct was roused by it, that triggered feelings of safety and contentment... it was illogical, but it was the nice sort of illogical. Byleth didn't mind it.]
...I think I can fall asleep to it. [He adjusted his position at that, making himself comfortable in his half-curled position against Claude's side] It's oddly soothing.
[Keeping his arm around Byleth, Claude adjusts the covers around them with his other arm so they're both properly tucked under them. For all his distance from others over the years, this isn't something new to Claude: napping with Hayame had been strangely nice, the steady rise and fall of her flank soothing him off to sleep, so he can imagine how much Byleth would find comfort in something similar here. He's reminded, too, of the way he had held the masked person who could have only been Byleth at the masquerade in his arms, and he wonders now what he would say, if he dropped the pretence, the game between them, and told him the truth.
His feelings are tangling themselves in knots. He looks down at him, then up at the roof of the tent.]
All right. [Then, more softly:] Rest well, Byleth.
[Later, when looking back at this moment, Byleth would be surprised at how swiftly he had drifted off to sleep. Perhaps it was due to the weeks upon weeks of short catnaps and fitful sleep that had finally grappled his exhausted body into submission, or perhaps Claude's presence really did make all the difference. Whatever the reason was, Byleth drowsed off into a deep, restful sleep to the sound of Claude's steady heartbeat and breathing within only a few short minutes.
True to his warnings, his breathing slowed dramatically, and he went completely limp.... but he was merely asleep, completely helpless and vulnerable within Claude's arms, and fully trusting him to keep him safe.]
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no subject
[Struck by an idea, Claude rearranges himself to lie on the camp bed, lifting up the covers so Byleth can join him. It's not the most comfortable bed in the world, and it'll be even more cramped with the two of them, but right now he doesn't mind any of that at all.]
This way you can listen to it, too, if you want.
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Very well. Thank you for indulging my curiosity.
[Sharing a bed like this didn't really register as anything strange to him, either. He had cosied up with Jeralt on more than a few occasions when they'd been in Faerghas during their bitter winters, and Byleth's main apprehension was letting a stranger be in close proximity to him. So, he slipped under the covers with Claude without hesitation.
It was cramped - more than, actually - with Byleth forced to lie on his side unless he wanted an arm and leg dangling off the edge. Despite his overwhelming curiosity, he didn't go straight for listening to Claude's heartbeat: he propped himself up on an elbow and very lightly rested his hand on the left side of Claude's chest-
-and lifted it up in surprise when he felt how strong the beat was.]
Oh. [he lowered his hand again, this time not flinching back at feeling the steady, strong beat.] That feels strange... two beats? It's not one single beat like a pulse is.
[It was like, beatbeat, or, beat-beat?]
no subject
Yeah, it's a bit different, though I can't say I've thought about it as much as you have.
[Or at least, not since he was still a child and learning about the world.]
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I've always been curious, but I could never ask Jeralt about these things.
[Jeralt loved him, Byleth knew that. He was Jeralt's entire world. But his lack of heartbeat, his difficulty in emoting... it troubled his father as well. So, Byleth never brought it up, he never asked Jeralt questions like "what does it feel like to have a heartbeat?" or "can I feel it?", but he could never ask anyone else either... until now, that is.]
And people place a lot of importance on hearts. There're idioms and metaphors and... poems and stories that surround them. It's fundamental to being a person, and I'll admit, for the longest time, it made me wonder if I could even be considered human, or even alive, because I lacked it. Of course, I know now that my heart is simply... different, not absent.
[A part of him was a little angry that Jeralt had kept it secret from him for so long but... Byleth didn't know how to process that so he just buried it, like he did with all the difficult emotions.]
no subject
[But knowing how to read subtler cues in his demeanour, his words, expressions... Claude feels like he understands him well with very little needing to be said. He rests a hand over Byleth's, where it's still splayed over his heartbeat.]
As for me, I have a regular heart just like most anyone else, but people still find plenty of reason to treat me differently. So, don't put too much stock in other peoples' assumptions of how things should be.
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[Byleth's gaze shifted from their clasped hands to Claude's face, and the corners of his mouth upturned into a gentle, barely there smile.]
Is it presumptuous of me to say I wish we'd met earlier...? I feel we both could've evaded a considerable amount of loneliness, if we did.
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I mean, even if we might regret not knowing each other sooner... getting to meet like this is something of a miracle, too.
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[But it made Byleth wonder where he'd stand once he returned to his own world. The Claude there was the leader of the Leicester Alliance, and likely had no idea Byleth even existed beyond his reputation and name. If Byleth sought him out... this type of relationship they had here was unlikely. Byleth would only ever be a hired mercenary.
...
Was this how Claude felt when encountering him here? Seeing a familiar face stare at him as if he was a stranger? Hm...]
In a way, it makes me almost sad to think of our eventual parting. The Claude in my world doesn't even know I exist, beyond being just a mercenary employed by King Dimitri.
no subject
[Assuming the other Claude isn't some radically different person, he can imagine he'd take to Byleth for just the same reasons.]
Besides, I don't think I would ever think of anyone in my employ as just a mercenary. I like to familiarise myself with the people I work with.
no subject
[...]
I'll think on it. For now, my employer is King Dimitri, but Jeralt expressed a desire to sever our ties with the Kingdom after our contract was concluded. The Church and Faerghus are still too closely aligned for his comfort... also, I get the impression he has less than fond feelings towards his homeland...
[Ah, but that was veering into topics Byleth wanted to avoid: Jeralt talk. Besides, there was no point discussing what ifs about his future back in his world right now. They weren't going home for a long while yet, regrettably.]
But I digress. May I listen to your heart? I'm curious to hear its sound.
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He quickly discards the thought as irrational, as a distracted impulse given the intimacy of this moment. Byleth has his own life to lead when all is said and done here, and Claude had done more than enough dragging the other Byleth of his own timeline around according to his own whims. Maybe he can just be someone who's here for him now, temporarily, as he was when he was just a masked stranger at a ball.]
Yeah, of course. [Claude lifts his hand out of the way, and holds still so Byleth can listen.]
no subject
It was initially a bit awkward. The cot bed was tiny, and Byleth ended up half on top of Claude, his legs bent so his feet weren't sticking out from under the covers at the end, which sort of... required him to have his leg thrown over Claude's so he wasn't kneeing him awkwardly in the side of his thigh or knee. Not that Byleth minded the closeness - Claude was a trusted ally and friend, and they both knew how cramped these beds were from the start.
Besides, he was quickly distracted from their cosy position the moment he rested his cheek on Claude's chest: he could hear his heart, a sort of lub-dub noise - there were two beats, but not quite. It was as if the first beat was swiftly echoed, like the heart worked in tandem in something. It squeezed and, squeezed again, maybe?]
It's so loud... how do you not feel this all the time?
[It sounded like it should be thrumming through Claude's very ribcage!]
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Fortunately, that doesn't happen, so he just holds still, hoping it isn't too obvious that his heartbeat quickens a little when Byleth presses his cheek to his skin.]
Well, I do feel it sometimes. After a battle or a tough training session, something like that. Most of the time it's just something I don't notice, though, like breathing.
no subject
I see.
[Byleth's rhythmic tapping slowed, and he closed his eyes. It felt and sounded strange, this heart, but a part of him found it soothing. He couldn't explain it. It was as if some primal instinct was roused by it, that triggered feelings of safety and contentment... it was illogical, but it was the nice sort of illogical. Byleth didn't mind it.]
...I think I can fall asleep to it. [He adjusted his position at that, making himself comfortable in his half-curled position against Claude's side] It's oddly soothing.
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His feelings are tangling themselves in knots. He looks down at him, then up at the roof of the tent.]
All right. [Then, more softly:] Rest well, Byleth.
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[Later, when looking back at this moment, Byleth would be surprised at how swiftly he had drifted off to sleep. Perhaps it was due to the weeks upon weeks of short catnaps and fitful sleep that had finally grappled his exhausted body into submission, or perhaps Claude's presence really did make all the difference. Whatever the reason was, Byleth drowsed off into a deep, restful sleep to the sound of Claude's steady heartbeat and breathing within only a few short minutes.
True to his warnings, his breathing slowed dramatically, and he went completely limp.... but he was merely asleep, completely helpless and vulnerable within Claude's arms, and fully trusting him to keep him safe.]